What is mental health for you? For me, it depends on when you ask in my life. As a 38 year old CHD I faced many happy and hard situations during my live; mentally and physically. Most situations were mentally good to handle. Only the two most difficult moments of my life, happened after the two happiest moments of my life.
My happiest day was my wedding day. I got married to my soulmate, who had a CHD as well. We faced many mental challenges together during the 12 years that we lived together. Eight months after the wedding he suddenly died of a stroke. After he died I experienced a new kind of mental dept, but physically I could do everything. So I did what was necessary to feel mentally better; I talked to people about my loss. I read books and stories about grief. Exercised and worked when I needed it. Also I got used to the mental pain; sometimes I placed myself in situations where I could imagine that he wasn’t dead; when I was at work for example. And sometimes I’d take a break and mindfully sit down with myself; looking at pictures and cried. I could do this, because my body had the energy to do all those things. I did not know that by biggest mental challenge, yet had to come.
This challenge came right after the happiest moment of my life; the birth of my son. I did not have big problems during pregnancy and my son was healthy, so I felt grateful. After 3 weeks I got a stomach infection after giving birth with a C-section. I felt that my heart was giving up, but doctors could not detect this. I got medication and hoped for the best. I was lying in bed and my family was taking care of my son and me. I couldn’t do what I normally did to get mentally better, because of my physical leak of energy. So mentally I got worse as well. Luckily for me, the medication did the job. I could take of myself and my son again, and mentally I felt better as well.
For me it is not hard to do what mentally and physically is good for me, to find the right balance in life. I have learned that naturally from an early age, because of my CHD. Only sometimes, life events
can change that balance. Then you need to reinvent your balances, mentally, physically or both. So mental and physical health I cannot see separated from each other.
- Article written and supplied by Annabel Breeman (Netherlands)
